Nov 2Liked by Camille Sojit Pejcha, Shanti Escalante-De Mattei
Wow! This type of straight shooting journalism is not my usual read: but I have to admit,I enjoyed it. I’m an 83 year old woman who has been broken by my mother, my family of origin, and various men. But I am here to say that looking to be cared for is not only overrated but a complete waste of time. The story of Anora is definitely a tragedy. Firstly you can’t be afraid of hard work, yourself or others. Just keep on trucking!
Nov 4Liked by Camille Sojit Pejcha, Shanti Escalante-De Mattei
Great review, very thought provoking!
To have a relationship is to depend on someone, there is no escaping it.
I have not seen the movie, but from what I understand of the plot, my takeaway is that successful relationships are based in equality, which includes equal dependence.
Anora discovering her benefactor-husband back in the strip club merely illustrates that he does not depend on her for anything meaningful. A more successful relationship with similar income equality would have to be founded on shared goals, shared values, and mature parties who understand that they depend on each other for both pragmatic and emotional reasons.
Anora has made a mistake in consenting to marry him, but she is also deserving of pity. She is very vulnerable at the time of his proposal: there is new relationship energy, the pressures of his socioeconomic status, they are far away from her home and support structures (which she may not have as she is a stripper). He is definitely taking advantage of her for his own purposes, which is not the foundation of any successful relationship.
That to me is more the underlying problem. The asymmetric dependency is the symptom, not the cause.
A proper relationship involves two individuals moving progressively into greater mutual dependence in relatively equal measure.
Nov 4Liked by Camille Sojit Pejcha, Shanti Escalante-De Mattei
Dependency is inversely proportional to agency. I think it is best to have a little of both; such is how an equal relationship develops. Life flows better that way.
Wow! This type of straight shooting journalism is not my usual read: but I have to admit,I enjoyed it. I’m an 83 year old woman who has been broken by my mother, my family of origin, and various men. But I am here to say that looking to be cared for is not only overrated but a complete waste of time. The story of Anora is definitely a tragedy. Firstly you can’t be afraid of hard work, yourself or others. Just keep on trucking!
Great review, very thought provoking!
To have a relationship is to depend on someone, there is no escaping it.
I have not seen the movie, but from what I understand of the plot, my takeaway is that successful relationships are based in equality, which includes equal dependence.
Anora discovering her benefactor-husband back in the strip club merely illustrates that he does not depend on her for anything meaningful. A more successful relationship with similar income equality would have to be founded on shared goals, shared values, and mature parties who understand that they depend on each other for both pragmatic and emotional reasons.
Anora has made a mistake in consenting to marry him, but she is also deserving of pity. She is very vulnerable at the time of his proposal: there is new relationship energy, the pressures of his socioeconomic status, they are far away from her home and support structures (which she may not have as she is a stripper). He is definitely taking advantage of her for his own purposes, which is not the foundation of any successful relationship.
That to me is more the underlying problem. The asymmetric dependency is the symptom, not the cause.
A proper relationship involves two individuals moving progressively into greater mutual dependence in relatively equal measure.
Dependency is inversely proportional to agency. I think it is best to have a little of both; such is how an equal relationship develops. Life flows better that way.